The quiet mouse

I have a friend. I’ve mentioned them here in a few posts. Because of circumstances they have me blocked on their phone. They are currently not able to maintain a friendship with me because their wife is jealous and insecure.

I really don’t care. I guess I do but I don’t. I still treat them like they are in the group of people I keep up with regularly. They get pictures of me and my girls and pictures of the cats. Yes, I’m a cat person.

If something happens that they decided to unblock my number then they will hopefully find all the insanity that is my life.

They won’t though. But it would be funny if they would answer.

I’m not totally sure what I would do if they answered. I really couldn’t jump through the phone and hug the. They were one of my best friends for ages.

I just don’t leave my people. I don’t like to. I think I spent to much time in the barn with my goats growing up. If you’re part of my herd then you’re welcome back. We stick together.

Ya that doesn’t work like that. Life is messier and rougher. It’s like a pack of wolves that leave the oldest weakest members in the back.

Nope not how I was raised.

I have friends I haven’t seen in ages and I love that we can pick back up right where we left off.

But if this person would appear would I be able to just act like that and pick up where we left off. I don’t even know where we left off.

I guess I’m angry. Angry that I’m in an abusive marriage and wondering what the other alternative would be. Would I have been safe. Would I have been valued. Would I have been loved properly.

Lots of those questions.

The great thing is there is only 2 people who know about this blog that I have told personally. They won’t be telling other people so things aren’t going to float out.

So this is my safe spot where I can vent and talk and know I’m not going to be dragged down for things.

Thank you for keeping me safe