The quiet mouse

This is so hard to do. I’m that weird awkward person who doesn’t know how to handle social situations. Honestly I really like to just people watch. I’m still needing to stay a wallflower. It’s safer that way.

In highschool I was definitely a wallflower. I didn’t want to be seen. I joined bank in blended in with blue and white ( school colors)

In voluntary service I felt like I was a third or fourth wing. With two girls from Germany and one from Canada everything was more interesting than me.

We went out with friends and sometimes i felt like I wasn’t even supposed to be there. Like the others would have more fun without me.

It’s just something I have always struggled with.

One of the things I’m trying to instill in my girls is that they are beautiful, strong, and amazing girls who will turn into a woman that can handle anything.

I just wish those things were instilled in me at their age.

I guess I’m trying to break a cycle of insecurities.

I struggle to walk into places and have the confidence to know that I’m good enough.

At family functions on my side I really feel awkward and just out of place. Sometimes I just don’t want to stay any longer than I have to. I think it’s the people, how they talk to me and treat me. I can’t even go camping without doing something wrong and hearing about it. I’m not perfect and they really enjoy rubbing it in.

ugh okay I’ll stop.