The quiet mouse

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a long time. I’ve been busy with work and family. I also was sick and that really kicked my butt. Being sick caused my rheumatoid arthritis to flare up. Some days I’m in quite a bit of pain.

I’ve been talking to a friend lately. He was my best friend for ages and we drifted apart. We haven’t seen each other in 20 years. No not anymore from voluntary service. This guy was from college.

We went from friendly chatting to actually talking about intimate stuff. It was really embarrassing because talking about being intimate is embarrassing for me. It was smut level stuff. I don’t know why I felt comfortable talking about it with him when I can’t talk about it with my husband. Maybe it’s because my husband is the one who abused me.

Something awoken in me. It was a firey obsidian feeling. I tried to fight it and I slowly gave in. I’m all the years I’ve been married I’ve never craved sex. I’ve never felt the need to jump somebody. While talking to my friend my husband walked through the door and I literally jumped him for sex. It was amazing sex.

We only talked through text so there was no actual talking.

Today my friend decided to not talk to me anymore. It feels like a rug has been pulled out from under me.

We never met in person. He has a totally different life than me.

I was encouraged to try some things and to just relax and focus. So tomorrow I’m going to try them. Or at least get the things I need to do it. It’s nothing bad. It’s just something that you could get from a pure romance party.

Yes, this post is vague. I’m trying to keep it pg18