This is Rodney. He was my mom’s cat. He was cool, laid back and lovable.
There’s just one detail about him missing.
He was stupid. Yes, stupid.
He was a drop off. I can totally understand how he didn’t know about things.
He tried to stalk play my goats. He got in a fight with a raccoon. He got sprayed by a skunk. He was caught nose to nose with a ground hog.
Since he was long haired it took several skunk baths and the entire summer fo him to smell better.
He used to go to my mom and have her get his burrs and knots out.
My cat disiel hated him with a passion.
Rodney was not allowed in the house because he would pee. So he stayed outside when it was nice or in the garage.
My dad had already hurt his back by the time Rodney appeared. He was also now al alcoholic. He had a temper when he drank and it showed when sparked. He spent a lot of time on the basement couch drinking.
Several times my mom would call from work and have me sneak carry Rodney through the house and put him in the garage. I had to go down the stairs into the basement to get to the garage door.
I only managed to successfully get him into the garage once without my dad knowing.
The other times I was caught and dad would yell and scream at me. I was even kicked while rushing back up the steps from dad.
I usually sat on the couch after getting yelled at just shaking and quietly crying. I even hid behind the couch once.
I realize now that I was having panic attacks. They were not fun. They also seemed to last forever.
It was not a positive environment.
I had friends who I could have called. I had one who lived out of state and probably would have came and got me. I was too afraid to tell them what was going on. They would have driven 4 hours to find me okay finally. I would have loved to have been taken out of the house. I didn’t want to inconvenience them at all so I never told them.
plus what would I have done with my show dairy goats? What about my cat. My friend joked around about me moving back out to Indiana. I knew they were cat sensitive and I really didn’t want them to have to take Benadryl when hanging out with me. They even said they would.
I loved my dad but I hated the side of him that came out when he drank. He was a wonderful guy who enjoyed fishing and trying to build things.
But he was an alcoholic. He didn’t take his medicine like he needed to. He took whatever he wanted and he drank with it.
He was sober when he passed away. I can say that.
I know some of you reading this who know me will probably be able to piece together who people are that I talk anonymously about.
If you figure it out then yay! I’m just being honest and not involving them. They have families and have gotten careers. I’m the last person on mars that they think about.
It would be great if they knew the honest truth. I didn’t exactly keep them in the loop about things.
Im keeping the peace and just trying to heal myself. I’ve been hurt, abused and isolated. I’m breaking the chains that are keeping me in this cage.
Im setting new boundaries that will keep me and my children safe.
This is me brutally honest. I have to heal. I have to reclaim myself.
I have to do this for my children. They need a strong mom who has set boundaries and will keep them.
The quiet mouse 